Monday, January 17, 2011

I love Spike Lee

Words of Spike Lee

"You have to do the research. If you don't know about something, then you ask the right people who do. I don't think I got any revelation; it was just good to hear the women whom I interviewed confirm what I thought already." --SL

"Before, I used to think that everything was based on race. Now class matters just as much. If you are a poor person: black, white, Latino, whatever, the Bush Administration does not have your best interests at heart. If the Government thought poor people mattered, the response [to Katrina's disaster] would have been much quicker." (March 2006) SL

"It has been my observation that parents kill more dreams than anybody." SL

"Racism is when you have laws set up, systematically put in the way to keep people from advancing, to stop the advancement of a people. Black people have never had the power to enforce racism, and so this is something that white America is going to have to work out themselves. If they decide they want to stop it, curtail it, or to do the right thing then it will be done, but not until then." SL

"But actresses are asked to compromise themselves, not just from the director but the producer too - 'Are you going to show your tits or your ass?' They say that shit all the time. It is men making decisions. And of course they would rather have heads explode on screen than show a penis." --SL

Thursday, January 13, 2011

drake. I got love for you.

( Jamming to "Karaoke"- by Drake)

I am sorry but ya'll do not know by now...I love Drake.
I dont know if it is because he is the only rapper out that actually is close to my age, talks about things that I have thought about, or if it is his swag. To be really honest I think it is all 3. And to be even more honest there are more reasons then just that.
I fell in love with Drake not when he was on Degrassi. But when I heard the song "Brand New (Remix)". This was the first time I really thought about the words. The way the singer sang the song and also the words that were being rapped. Usually girls just want to dance and will think about the words later. (Yes world this is why these poppin that ass and mess is still being played is because girls..we just want to dance...we could sometimes NOT care) Annnnnywwwway.
This is when I really fell in love with a rapper. I mean i like the cheesy songs of the early 2000's and you know the occasional rap mixed in with some r&b songs. But besides that....I could give to head turns about Rap. But Drake really opened up my eyes to how you should pay attention. You should really pay attention to what is being said how they said and how it touches you. I am not the one for the bootie popin music (AT ALL).
And I like how his music has two sides....deep thoughts in his mind or raps of empowerment. I think in my iTunes library I have #Smooth Drake and #Hype Drake. I dont know what he thinks of when he makes some of this music...but all I know is when I listen to it. It moves me in some way.

I know I am not the BIGGEST fan compared to other females. But I really enjoy listening to his thoughts. Not just because they sound nice and his voice is something to soak the panties. BUT because I feel like he is talking with me. He is having a conversation. For instance his song "COME WINTER" is one of FAVORRRRRITES! I love the way his voice is so soft but still delivers a fast melody of his true thoughts. I think this song is sooooo dope because I love the old school background song. I LOVE it when Kanye did it and any other artist speeds up or changes the song to make it fit the song! that is my ish!!! But the way he makes a story come alive that possibly happened with him. It made me think about my personal story in the winter time.
Just as much as I loved the song...I LOVE THE ending... How he makes it seem like spring coming was such a great artistic touch. I tried so hard to not rewind this song over again. But I just love how the old school song comes in TOOO smooth. "Strolling in the Park watching Winter turn to SPPPRRIINNNGGG." That is my JOINT I love it!
I jam so hard in my car.

I could go on for DAYS about why and how much I love Drake and his music. I have to say that the time that Drake came into my life was when I was just starting college. This was the time when the SO FAR GONE MIXTAPE came out. I got a hold of the mixtape a couple months after it came out. But every single song I heard I had to replay it and replay it. I LOVED that mix tape.! it was the greatest! All I have to say is as a college student I thought I was the coolest girl in the world walking to class with Drake talking in my ear. I thought I was runnin that campus because Drake gave me a connection into a different world. He showed me how rappers could connect to you without OUTWARDLY saying shake that ass every other line. I loved the new twist.

All I know is that I have so many Drake songs it is hard to really have a good shuffle going on with at least hearing him once within and hour. All I know is that I feel a personal connection with his music and I can not stop listening to it. For the first time in a while I can say my favorite artist and be completely serious. All i know is that as a sophomore in college when his new mixtape came out the DRIZZY EFFECT, I felt like those songs were like a real connection for me. For example "Fear or Don't be Scared of Me" that was the song that I connected to the most, just becuase I could hear his passion and maturity. I feel like each year or each time that I see myself grow I see him grow too. I feel like in the future when I look back on my music and some of the songs that I listen to Drake will bring back some great moments, memories and feelings.

All i know is that when I went to his concert, I felt like I could listen to music and not feel ashamed to know the words and dance in front of strangers. I loved the format of the song set up. I like the little intros. I felt like I shout out every song he was about to perform even before the music started. I was acting like.... "that" kind of fan lol.
But I will have to say besides feeling like a "fan". I felt special too. There was a time during the concert when Drake pointed out people in the crowd to talk with them. And Drake actually pointed me out and compliment my hair and outfit. Even though that was a shot period of time, in which he prob. doesnt even remember.... he made me feel so special and it gave me that REALISTIC connection to him that I have never felt with any other artist.

DAMN I SOUND LIKE A GROUPIE. but hey out of anyone out there... I would be a groupie for him. DAMMMMNNN even though we are both BRIGHT as day. I love his music therefore I got to see his soul and I love him for showing that.


Wednesday, January 12, 2011

If only if only

its really sad how our nation pays more attention to sports and celebrity gossip then issues that could help build the country up. It is disappointing to see my twitter and Facebook homepages go crazy about shows, games, celebrities but be so uninformed about what is going on in our nation. It is easier to talk about the surface issues then the real issues that affect our future. I feel that the issues of the country are only relavant when it comes to issues that mess up someone's everyday routine. I just wish we could do better!


Sunday, January 9, 2011

call it a come back.

I would like to write in a diary and reveal all my true thoughts and feelings. But to tell you the truth I am just to lazy to do it.
I know that all the things I say can be read and heard way past their measure. Which is fine.....


I dont know I guess you could say I am just really past having a sensor.

I have realized that when I see others that are going in different directions and getting away from the regular.... I am a little jealous. I do a self check sometimes and really try to ask myself whhhhhattt am I doing here? How am I going to get through it? How will that happen? What is resuliton that goes best with reality? Am I really doing the right thing?

Is my behavior really what right is?
Should I get past it?
We are all suppose to be different so why do my action fall to the left and everyone's go to the right?....I thought I was suppose to separate myself?

What if my actions appear wrong...but in my head they are right?
What happen to the gut feeling? OH we dont do that anymore?? Oh ok.

These are all questions that i dont feel like revealing on twitter facebook... or even a diary. Because in a small weird way....I want someone to find these questions and me answer them.

I just wonder where I am going to end up? what I will be doing for years and years that make me so happy i cant wait to get up in the morning.
I have pictured myself in this nice comfy, cheap apartment in a city (outside of kansas or missouri).

It would have warm colors...and when I wake up I would just be moved at how much the light from the sun comes through my window. I will have a bathtub that fits tight and snug into the bathroom that have large candles beside the sink and shelves. And my kitchen will have an old fashioned gas stove, and colorful tile that I put in myself. My living room will have a huge chair and two comfy sofas. I will h
ave pictures all on the walls full of my young adventures. I will have deep oak book selves and tables that hold books,picture, pottery and candles.

I will decorate my windows with lights that will compliment the city lights that will shine bright in my window.

My bedroom will be a framed princess bed that is propped up. I will have a deep oak framed bed that makes all the purple, green, teal and gold colors shine from my wall to wall. I will have this giant mirror that sits next to my walk in closet. I will have a picture of Malcolm X and a quote framed to inspire. Also there will be old pictures of beautiful black and white pictures full of goregous black idols all through just to remind me of the greatness I am capable of.

I will have bold colored rugs all around the hardwood floor that feel cozy on my feet when i wake up and walk around.
Besides my bedroom I will have a small section of the apartment blocked off and drawn with a curtain. And beyond that curtain will be a place where all my creative projects will be made. My sewing machine and all the materials, My paints and art supplies, my ceramic wheel. There will be a place where I could pick up my inspirations and turn them into something real.

One day after all current bull passes; I will be able to make this vision come true.


Thursday, November 4, 2010


Hello i am here trying and working.
I know I dont know it all...but i am trying to make it happen for myself!

I just loveeeeee EVERYONE around me!

Monday, August 16, 2010


I am done being dependable, there at a drop of the hat, and supportive. No more. I feel like every single time I am there for someone and I need to have the same respect back NO ONE offers it back. I have ONE code. do as you do to other and execpt the same in return. But you know what I think there is a glish in that rule. The word EXPECT. I should not expect anything from others. I will just continue to DO me and now i really dont give a DAMN. Because now when I need someone to talk to they are not there. When I need someone to be a good friend they are not there. When i call and there is no response, when people act crazy to my face, when I get treated like a nobody--Shit i am done. If i have to be completely alone and out of the loop and unsocial for a while I will do that because you know what I am tried of being a friend and then having people treat me like shit and walk all over my feelings and my friendship. I cant stand it anymore. I just feel so alone and so disrespect.

If anyone needed me I was there. if there was something going on and they need to talk it out or cry or anything I WAS there. But what about now. Who is standing there by my side NO one. I just feel like I have been pushed away! Ever since day one i was there for people, so now when I need someone do I get a phone call a response anything? Nope. Just alone and hurt. so you know what ill just keep it all to myself and just not reach out anymore.

So yes I am done.

Thursday, July 29, 2010


Oh yes I finally got out the house. So this means I have been out of my feelings and have been completely occupied so I have had no need to write angry blogs. And who really wants to see those? BORING. ANYWAY.
OMG i have to say that KC is one of the whackest places to be in the world compared to Chicago. I just love how everything is busy and so active UNLIKE kansas which makes this place seem like busy central compared to KANSAS. UGH. I just really dont want to go back! But Anyway. I just want to write a positive blog so then I will do so..

All i have to say is sometimes you need a time to just STEP outside of the usual, so that your mind can occupy other thoughts and people. And I think that with this trip I have really be able to do that! yay! So while I sit here at Starbucks bootlegging their internet for my email, facebook, and twitter updates I feel like I have been able to keep my brain occupied with other thoughts and ideas. I am very happy that I have the opportunity to do that! YAY! well let me just enjoy the rest of my time and I will fill you in all of the festivities I have gotten into! Talk with you soon! ( so happy I am in a GREAT mood!)